


Jacob Two-Two and the Urbane Dead

by Katiebug586



Series: Jacob Two-Two and the Anthology Album [10]
Category: Jacob Two-Two - All Media Types
Genre: Also Melinda totally has some Aradia Megido stuff going on, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, But they come back, Canonical Character Death, Death, Did any of you catch that Urban Dead pun, Don't worry ;), Find Out Next Time on Dragon Ball Z, I finally write a fanfiction with Melinda in it, Took me only 10 of these oneshots so yay, Will I add Melinda ever again, Zombie, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:40:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23710069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katiebug586/pseuds/Katiebug586
Summary: Renee wakes up feeling like she got ran over by a truck.
Relationships: Jacob/Buford/Renee (Platonic)
Series: Jacob Two-Two and the Anthology Album [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1549141
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	Jacob Two-Two and the Urbane Dead

Renee kicked a couple of rocks out of her way as she trudged down the street, either deep in thought or thinking about ways to burn the world down for all the crimes it had committed against her. Point was, she simply wasn’t in a talking mood and wanted to be left alone.

However, she wasn’t in any hurry to get home, instead deciding to wander around aimlessly. Somehow her home had managed to be a worse place to be at than even Dreary Meadows, one of the worst schools she ever had the pleasure of attending.

_‘It’s one of the most well-behaved schools!’_ They said.

_‘It’ll be easy!’_ THEY SAID.

Turns out, the only reason Dreary Meadows was so _well-behaved_ was that every student was _too scared_ to act out or do anything ridiculous. An air of dread hung heavily in the school corridors, along with a sense of hopelessness by pupils and even some members of the faculty. There had been many rumors and legends of the true horrors of the school, passed down from kid to kid, though Renee had no intention to believe any of them. While she had seen some strange stuff during her time at Dreary Meadows, she refused to acknowledge there was any kind of evil spirit pulling the strings and being behind these shenanigans.

She continued to walk, not looking where she was going, why would it matter, anyway? She lived on what was practically an island, so if she reached the end, she’d just turn back around and go home, as much as she hated to.

Do you know what she also hated? Her par-

A loud and jarring _HONK_ broke Renee out of her thinking trance. She turned around and found herself in the middle of the street and that a truck was approaching her at breakneck speed, causing her panic mode to activate.

However, she couldn’t _move,_ like her legs were made of stone. She had heard of the term ‘Deer caught in the headlights’, but she thought it was stupid. Anybody could move if they put thought to it, right? But here she was, her body rigid and frozen, face wracked with fear and panic. The truck got closer and closer as her legs finally worked, starting to take off before-

\------

A little while later, two boys walked down the same street that Renee did, walking home from a small fast food joint and talking about this and that, as they usually did.

“And that’s why Uncle Baxter’s no longer allowed at the library!” Buford exclaimed, laughing at the interesting and perhaps gross story he just told.

“Wow, that was… fascinating, really fascinating.” Jacob said, barely paying attention. While he would usually listen more to his best buddy’s stories, today he just felt _off._ He’d felt wrong all day as if the feeling was a harbinger of doom or something.

“You don’t seem that intrigued. You still feeling weird?” Buford saw his friend nod, allowing him to continue. “I wouldn’t worry too much about it, Jake. I mean, who knows? It’s probably just the weather. Wait, what if the weather’s about to go crazy and that’s why you’re feeling weird? It’s like how dogs and other animals can predict earthquakes!”

“I don’t think that’s why, Buford. I don’t know, I just don’t know.”

“Maybe they gave you some bad fries or-” Buford stopped in his tracks, cocking his head.

“I’ve been feeling bad all day and- Hey, why did you stop? Why did you stop?”

“Do you hear that?”

Jacob was about to tell Buford that what he heard was probably just a car or lawnmower, they did live in a rather noisy neighborhood/city, but there was this nagging voice in the back of his mind telling him to just listen anyway. For a second, he heard absolutely nothing. Then, slowly, but surely, he heard muffled ambulance sirens in the distance as they wailed and cried. “It’s just sirens.”

However, Buford had that devious sparkle of curiosity in his eyes that could only spell out trouble for the two of them. “Well come on, we should go investigate, partner!”

“What? Why? Despite his apprehension, he let Buford’s words sink in, mulling it over. For some reason, the more he thought about it, the more it beckoned him to follow the source, like a siren, but the Mythology kind. What was the worst that could happen with staying out just a little bit later? _“Fine._ But only if you pay for our food next time.”

Buford groaned slightly. “Deal. Now come on!”

The two walked down the sidewalk, crossing streets with safety and precision, as the sirens got closer and louder. However, the closer they got, Jacob’s dread also increased as well, though he couldn’t explain why. But it was this same force that was giving him said dread that was pushing him forward, he was sure of it.

Out of the corners of his eyes, Jacob spotted police tape, they were getting close. Yet the yellow tape made him wary, something had happened, obviously. Something bad. He looked towards Buford. “You ready?”

Buford nodded and the duo continued down the street, they thought they could face whatever was over there with no problem.

“Wait!” Buford called out, putting his hand in front of Jacob. “Is… Is that?”

Looking more closely, Jacob realized who it was and bolted towards them, heart in his throat. _No, no, It can’t be!_

However, running up was even worse of an option as he reached the tape and was greeted with a sight that made him almost barf. It was definitely who they thought it was and she was definitely _not alive._

Buford came up a second later and couldn’t even look for a millisecond before turning over and barfing his late snack right onto the ground. Jacob couldn’t care, however, as he was too busy dealing with the fact that _Renee Ratelle was dead._

\------

Renee didn’t exactly know where she was, but she knew she was somewhere. At least she _thought_ she was somewhere, in this weird grey misty area, which seemed to be simultaneously in the middle of nowhere and everywhere.

Her mind was fuzzy and she couldn’t recall how she ended up here, to begin with. The logical part of herself knew this was probably all a dream, but she seemed just a little bit _too_ lucid and aware for that to be the case.

Whatever the case actually was, she knew she probably wasn’t going to get answers by just sitting around, which is what her bozo friend, Jacob, would probably do, far too scared to face the unknown.

But Renee wasn’t too scared. In fact, she hardly felt anything at all right now, feeling empty and lifeless instead. Fitting, for the grey and macabre tone in this cold and unforgiving wasteland. So she got up and wandered into the nothingness.

She wandered and she wandered, but she wasn’t really going anywhere. It was still the same deserted void that she woke up in what was probably hours before by now. Her legs felt tired and she decided that maybe it was best if she curled up for a bit and rested. It wasn’t like there was anyone around, at least not anybody she _knew,_ that would make fun of her for taking a nap in the middle of nowhere.

Laying down, she closed her eyes, trying to think of absolute nothingness, which was easy, considering that was all she could feel right now. She drifted into a deep sleep, before-

She woke up with a start, in her own bed, in her own house, _hooray_ , and certainly not in the backwoods of the universe. Of course, it was just a dream, go figure. Still, as she got out of bed, she couldn’t help but still feel like something was _wrong._ Well, maybe not wrong, but definitely off, something different, though everything still _seemed_ in place.

Well, she did have what could only be described as a migraine, not noticing it until now. In fact, her whole body felt like it was hit by a train or a _truck._ But she probably only slept wrong, that’s all, no use in overthinking it. That’s Jacob’s job, wasn’t it?

Looking into the mirror she saw that she _indeed_ looked like she had a nasty cold. Her complexion was way more pale than normal and her eyes looked tired and droopy. In fact, her whole body just looked more _dead than alive._

She still got ready, however. She was _not_ the kind of person to take sick days, no matter how bad she felt. Sick days cost time and time was work not getting done and work not getting done meant not being productive and not being productive was- Okay, you get the point.

She stepped outside as a cold breeze blew by. Boy, it sure was chilly today, it made her joints feel rather stiff and uncomfortable. But once again, that didn’t stop her from getting her work done, she wasn’t like her slacker friends. Besides, it was just for a small walk, wasn’t it? A nice Saturday walk to get out of the house and avoid her… parents… as much as humanly possible.

For some reason, she found herself walking towards the school as if a voice was telling her to. Well, okay then. Stop by the school, continue on your walk, do something, go home, do something else, go to bed. It sounded like she already had quite the day planned out for herself.

When she approached the school, however, she only became more confused. There was a distinct sound that reminded her of sobbing coming from behind it. Well, more like _one_ person was sobbing, but there was definitely a lot of commotion going on over there.

Crawling up behind the right-side wall, she didn’t want to disturb anything or anyone, especially if this was some kind of _funeral_ . Who would even _want_ to hold a funeral here, anyway? Getting closer and closer, she started to hear voices conversing with one another.

“Was it a semi-truck or a regular truck? Like a Dodge or a Ram? You know, speaking of which, why are semi-trucks called semi-trucks? They’re don’t look like trucks at all!” While she couldn’t see them, she knew the voice speaking was Melinda. But what was she talking about? Semi-trucks? Regular trucks? Who was she even talking to?

“How should I know? How should I know? I didn’t _witness her die!_ ” Okay, that voice belonged to Jacob, obviously and this was _definitely_ a funeral. But what happened, who died? Why wasn’t she made aware of this?

“Maybe you should ask her then.”

Renee crept among the side until she finally saw the two, dressed in the usual funeral attitude. Well, Jacob _had_ dressed up appropriately. Melinda, _however,_ was still in her usual pink hoodie. Looking around, Renee noticed a couple of other kids idling around, along with Buford, who was on the ground, crying his heart out. So _that’s_ who was doing the sobbing, but what had gotten Buford so upset? Was he real close with the girl who _died?_

Jacob groaned. “Melinda, she’s kind of dead.”

“No, she’s not. _She’s right over there.”_ Melinda suddenly turned and pointed straight at Renee as every kid stopped and stared. Wait, was this _her_ funeral? Of course not, she wasn’t dead! She was right here, completely and totally alive. Yet, everyone stared at her like she had gained an extra head or something!

Unsure of what to say to break the awkwardness, Renee mumbled out a weak _“Hi.”_

Most of the kids went absolutely _berserk,_ screaming and pushing each other to flee the scene and when it finally settled down, only Jacob, Buford, Renee and Melinda remained. While Jacob and Buford were still appropriately shocked at Renee’s sudden appearance, Melinda was indifferent. “What? I told you she was alive.”

“Okay, what exactly is going on here? I had one of ze weirdest fever dreams, woke up wiz a nasty headache, and now I’m apparently crashing my _own funeral._ Did I miss anyzing?”

“Well, aside from you being _dead,_ I think that pretty much covers it,” Buford stated, dragging himself up from the ground, wiping his eyes. “Sorry, I just got a little teary-eyed there.”

Renee rolled her eyes. “I’m _not_ dead, you two. If I’m clearly standing here, zen I’m alive, got it?”

Jacob shook his head. “Renee, we saw you, we saw you! You were all _over the place._ Your arms and legs were _not_ in places they should’ve been and you were _definitely not alive._ Don’t you remember? Witnesses said you got hit by a truck of some kind.”

“Maybe she was hit too hard to remember and she was alive the whole time, but everyone just assumed she was dead.”

“Zank you, Melinda.” Renee said, glad that someone was on her side. “I’m sure zat’s what happened and everyone here just jumped to conclusions.”

“That still doesn’t make sense! That still doesn’t make sense! Even if she _was_ alive, she should not be up and walking around like that. I mean, it _has_ been a week since she ‘supposedly’ died, but I don’t think injuries of that magnitude heal that fast” Jacob also raised a good point. If she truly _was_ hit by a truck or car and her injuries were as bad as they said, to the point they thought she _died,_ she should not be walking around as if nothing happened, though it would explain the achy feeling her body felt.

“Do you guys think she’s… a zombie?” Buford spoke in a hushed whisper like he was trying to make sure she _didn’t_ hear him, though he did _not_ know how to speak in an inside voice, at all. A zombie, seriously?

“I zought we were done wiz ze stupid, clearly I was wrong. Next, I suppose you’ll say zat Leo Louse is a _vampire_ or somezing.”

“It’s plausible, Louse is more into dark and cramped spaces, isn’t he?” Why did she even bother? Of course Buford wouldn’t pick up on the sarcasm! She supposed even bringing up the _possibility_ of such an idea was her fault and her fault alone. But a zombie? They _don’t_ exist and aren’t just going to _start_ existing.

“Listen, I know a lot of weird stuff has happened this past week, a _lot,_ but I don’t think Renee’s a zombie!”

“Correct, while there have been zombie-like behavior observed in animals, all of them have been alive, even if they haven’t exactly been _thriving._ The zombie you’re talking about doesn’t seem very possible, since it’s based around dead things coming back to life, which has never been observed.” Renee found herself feeling slightly more at ease listening to Melinda’s speech. It wasn’t _possible,_ so why was she so worked up?

“Bottom line is, Renee’s here right now and she’s alright, alright?’

“Am I, zough?” Renee felt very small all of a sudden, everything was just so stressful right now! She spun on her heel, intending to take off, and her shoulder split into two pieces- her bodyside, and her arm, which now lied at her feet. She made an embarrassing squeak of surprise as everyone stared at her once more.

“Zombie! I told you guys! Well, I’m not sticking around!” Buford took off, before accidentally tripping on a chair that was laid out on the grass, causing both him and the chair to fall over onto the grass. “Owwww…”

Renee couldn’t take it anymore and grabbed her arm, running off into the unknown. She didn’t care where she went or if she was hit by another car, she just needed to leave, _now._

“Renee, wait, wait!” Jacob snapped out of his shock, trying to call his friend back, to no avail. What had just happened? Was Renee _actually_ a zombie?

“Well, it’s never been observed, until _now,_ I suppose,” Melinda muttered, also trying to get a grip on her bearings. “Is Buford alright?”

Buford groaned, trying to get up. “I’m fine. But not for long, not with Zombie-nee running around! Who knows how long it’ll be until she eats our flesh and turns us into zombies as well? Montreal is doomed!”

Jacob just rolled his eyes in response. “Renee’s gone, she just… she just took off.”

“That’s even worse! She’s out to attack the townspeople! We gotta do something, Jacob!”

“She didn’t seem... zombie-like, though. In fact, she seemed _scared_ ,” Jacob thought deeply on the situation, wondering what they could possibly do right now. “You know, just because she might be a zombie right now, as hard as that is to accept, doesn’t mean she _doesn’t have feelings._ Poor Renee, imagine, how would _you_ feel if _you_ were in this situation? How would you feel?

“Wow, I never thought of it like that,” Buford rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. “What do you suppose we do?”

“Well first, we have to find her, I can only hope that she hadn’t gotten herself hurt. _Again_.”

Melinda walked away from the two, heading out into the unknown. “You two have fun, I need to reevaluate my life choices _and_ my sanity.”

“I guess that just leaves you and me, Buford. You ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be!”

\------

Renee slumped by a tree, simply exhausted. Even though she was _very_ freaked out, she managed to retain enough brains in her to flee without being spotted by unwanted attention. Not only was she apparently dead and now a _zombie,_ but she also couldn’t be seen running around with her own _arm._

Speaking of which, she stared down at it, trying to refuse that the thing in front of her was _real._ But it was _oh so very real._ In fact, the stump where her arm _used_ to be wasn’t bleeding at all, which was weird and unusual, considering that arms are _supposed_ to bleed when cut off, they’re supposed to bleed _a lot._

She really _was dead,_ and she really _was a zombie._

She teared up, trying to wrap her head around the idea. What was she going to do now? It’s not like she _has_ a life anymore, everyone thinks she’s dead! How is she going to explain that to people? She can’t just straight up tell people that she’s a zombie! _Her life is over._

A bush beside her rustles slightly. Good, it’s either a hungry wild animal or the government, ready to take her away for endless lab probing just to see _how_ she ticks. Guess what? She doesn’t tick because she’s dead. 

Now that she’s thinking about it, she can’t even feel her heartbeat. Not a surprise, because she’s a zombie, because she’s _DEAD._ She wiped her eyes with her remaining arm, waiting for whoever it is to just burst out and ruin her un-life.

After a little more rustling, the figure behind it _does_ step out into the open, but it’s not who Renee was expecting.

_“Buford?”_ She asks, surprised to see her bucktoothed friend instead of a feral wolf or officer of the government. Jacob also steps out of the bushes and for a moment, she’s actually _glad_ it’s them. “What are you doing here? How did you find me so quickly?”

“I sniffed you out with my powerful smelling abilities!” Buford stated, proudly. “The stench of death was hidden to everyone but me!”

“Your powerful what? Whatever, it doesn’t matter, does it? I’m still _dead,_ so just go home. I’m not even supposed to be here.” Renee looked at the ground, trying not to cry again.

Jacob sat down, putting his arm around her side. _Why was he okay with touching her?_ “But you _are_ here, aren’t you? There _has_ to be a reason for this, a reason! We might not understand it yet, but this doesn’t happen to just _anybody.”_

“Zat might be true, I suppose. But what else is zere for me to do? Besides just… existing?”

Buford grinned. “Maybe the school’s responsible for this! Maybe there really are paranormal happenings and you being kind of revived, as a zombie, is one of them!”

Renee groaned. “Buford, I’ve told you, ze school is _not_ haunted! But… at ze same time, I didn’t believe zombies existed _eizer_ and now I’m one of zem. I suppose if ze school really is more zan it seems, it wouldn’t be ze craziest zing we’ve dealt wiz so far. One more problem, zough. What are we going to tell people? You saw how zose ozer kids reacted, everyone zinks I’m dead! How am I going to tell people I’m not? I mean, I _am_ technically dead, but zey can’t know zat!”

“Maybe we should just do what Melinda said and just tell people that you weren’t _really dead?_ ” While Jacob’s plan wasn’t exactly _the greatest_ , Renee couldn’t think of any others at this time, at least no other plan that _wouldn’t_ have the truth come out and get her locked up in the Canadian equivalent of Area 51.

“Well, I don’t have any better ideas, so I suppose we’ll just have to go wiz it, for now.” Feeling a little better about the situation, _just a little,_ she picked up the arm, wondering what to do with it. As if it was instinctual, she moved it back over to her shoulder blade and managed to somehow snap it back on. The limb moved and reconnected with her mind with ease as if it never snapped off, to begin with. It looked like zombies also had the ability to easily snap their limbs back on, which was something she was _actuall_ y thankful for. “Zere. Zat wasn’t so hard.”

Jacob hugged her and Buford joined in. While she normally wasn’t a very huggy person, she found herself longing for such physical contact and warmth from her now cold and dead skin. While the overcast around them was still eerie and filled with a sense of mystery and danger, it felt a _little less_ dangerous and mysterious.

Renee knew that being a zombie wouldn’t be easy, not at all, but she knew that with her friends by her side, she’d be able to continue to live her ‘life’ as she had before, even if there were a few hiccups along the way.


End file.
